This was the queer joy book that I needed at the right moment! (Don’t get me wrong, all the MM hockey romance books I happened to be reading are also full of queer joy and happiness, but this one changed it up a good bit.)
We read this for the online knitting community book club that I’m a part of for pride month and it was a lot more fun than I thought it would be. The protagonist, Jess, has begun transitioning between high school and college and has decided that she WILL go to her (slightly-estranged) father’s wedding to her mother’s ex-best friend unannounced and it’ll be part of an epic road trip with her best friend Chuck, whom she calls Chunk (a nickname bestowed upon him years ago). And like any road trip there are ups and downs; detours and drama; and a messy ending that somehow works.
There were so many small pieces to love about this novel that I’m going to do similar to what I did last time and just do bullet points with my thoughts:
- Jess and Chuck’s discovery that what can appear to be the most unfriendly of places doesn’t mean they won’t find friends there. From Gretchen, a trans woman who runs a diner in a deeply rural area (sure she keeps a shotgun on her counter at night) and is living authentically to the highly intelligent and ultimately friendly Annabelle who teaches Jess a trick about passing and lets her raid her closet.
- Jess’s realization that the world doesn’t revolve around her. She has spent so much time thinking about her transition and focusing on whether people know or judge her for it that she’s completely missed the bullying and trauma of Chuck, she’s missed that her mom may not be the saint that she thinks she is and that her dad and soon-to-be step mom also have a side of the story to share. I think this is where Jess will need to experience even more growth as she goes off to school and develops adult relationships with each of these people in her life.
- Chuck’s well-balanced and well rounded being. He grew up with a therapist for a mom and has done everything he can to support Jess even if that meant “violating” her demand that she not tell anyone about her being trans. Chuck, of course, sought advice from his mom and I wonder if he sought advice not only so he could be a supportive friend, but also to figure out his own confusing thoughts.
- The importance of strangers and new friends when figuring yourself out. Sometimes, it’s easier to tell someone you’ve just met something you’ve never told the most important people in your life. That could be because you think you’ll never see them again, or it could even be because you don’t have the weight of expectations and knowledge so it’s just easier.
Our book group discussion was interesting and enjoyable. We went in so many different directions as we talked through the story and I appreciated the different generational views and the background everyone brought to the discussion. I think my favorite part was when everyone was like the ending is a little messy, we need 30 more pages and I was like “oh, no—that would probably ruin it for half of us.” The number of times a story goes one chapter too long or an epilogue is tacked on and it just kills the story. To me a messy ending with enough hope that things could work out perfectly and work out great for now is better than not getting the exact ending that I want after dedicating so much time to reading the work.
Recommendation: While this wasn’t perfect, there were so many things that Clark did right that I absolutely adored it. Clark did an excellent job of capturing the emotions of teens transitioning from high school to college and added in the complexity of gender identity and sexuality and navigating new friendships and relationships in a way that wasn’t preachy. She also left things intentionally open at the end and I think that was a very smart decision. Everyone in the story is going to have to do a lot of learning and growing to successfully stay connected after all the revelations and if Clark would’ve gone into that, I think it would’ve veered into preachy or too tidy of a story.
Opening Line: “Something about my mom’s New Age music makes me want to stab myself in the eye.”
Closing Line: “There is no Black Hole, just infinity.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)
