Book 730: Conventionally Yours (True Colors #1) – Annabeth Albert

I’m not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing I let so much time pass between finishing this and writing this review. If I would’ve written this right after I finished it would’ve been effusive and glowing, but about a week later it’s much more measured (I think).

It’s no secret that I adore Albert’s books—seriously, I created an Annabeth Albert tag so it’s even easier for you to find them and I’m slowly working my way through her entire back list, but this one hasn’t stayed with me like some of her other series. Don’t be mistaken, I thoroughly enjoyed it and my adoration of Albert has not lessened, I think maybe it’s just matured.

I loved the concept of this book going into it. Albert set it at a card game convention (basically a parallel Magic the Gathering), and revisits a trope she leaned heavily on in her #gaymers series, the road trip.

Protagonists Conrad and Alden are part of a group that has gained some popularity on YouTube from their local card shop and have been offered complimentary tournament entries. A road trip is planned, people sign up for various reasons, shit happens, and Conrad and Alden end up alone on their New Jersey to Las Vegas drive.

Whatever. I wasn’t in this to make friends. I was here for one reason, and one reason only—the high I got from winning. Sure, the satisfaction of deck building was nice, and the aesthetics of the game weren’t entirely lost on me, but nothing compared to the rush of victory. And right now, at this point in my life, I needed that rush in the worst way. (20)

The plot was a standard (fre)enemies to lovers with each bringing their own baggage to their miscommunication and fumbling attempts at friendship and then love. For me, Alden shone in this work because of his neurodiversity. Albert stayed clear of any sort of label, but did a wonderful job of writing the stress and anxiety caused by Alden’s moms trying to “cure” or “solve his problems”, while simultaneously having high expectations of what he was to do with his life.

It had been so easy to feel like damaged goods the past year, but when I’d told Alden that we weren’t imperfect, I’d actually believed it myself. (135)

Conrad had his own issues (closed minded family, being outed against his will, bit of a party boy), but as authentically as Albert wrote them, I didn’t connect with him like I feel I do with most of Albert’s characters.

All of this being said, the evolution of how both Conrad and Alden looked at love and each other was really well done. They were both pretty immature going into it with unrealistic expectations and understanding of what love and relationships are. Alden’s only experience was with overbearing caring moms who loved him too much to let him find his own path and Conrad’s was a fleeting one-night-stand type of love as a result of his family’s harsh treatment of his sexuality.

Holy wow. I let that thought ping around my head, knocking over long-held pillars of assumptions. Maybe it wasn’t love that hurt. It wasn’t love that screwed me over. Real love didn’t have conditions and limitations. People had failed me, let me down, hurt me. But not everyone was like that. Hadn’t Alden shown me compassion over and over? Was what we felt for each other the real deal? (277)

Then there was the sex and heat of the novel. Let’s face it most people read these books for the hot and heavy sex scenes. This one didn’t disappoint, but you had to wait for it. I don’t think they kissed until the 50% mark and sex didn’t occur until closer to the 66% mark. This didn’t bother me at all because of Albert’s strong character-driven plot and honestly the two on-page scenes with references to a few off-page scenes was plenty.

In limiting the amount of on-page sex I think Albert opens herself up to a new audience and this can be seen in some of the marketing comparing this to Red, White and Royal Blue. And I can see those parallels, but there’s a maturity in Albert’s work that McQuiston will only find over time. Not to mention, that Albert has a conciseness that I think McQuiston struggled with in her work.

And of course, there were still over-the-top swoon worthy moments that made me roll my eyes and sigh all at the same time. What kind of romance novel would this be without those?

I figured I was doing a pretty good job at that when Conrad tiptoed out of the bathroom a short while later and flipped off his own light even before he got in bed. The covers dragged across my torso as he settled. Weird. This sleeping-next-to-someone business was simply strange in so many ways, a type of social politics I’d never been very good at. For example, how much blanket was I entitled to? Was it rude to yank back my half that he just stole? Not to mention feet. His bumped mine several times as he shifted around, but I figured that pulling my feet back would make it obvious I was awake.(169)

With that, he kissed me, stars above us, galaxies worth of emotions unspooling in my chest. When we kissed like this, I felt like the person I’d always wanted to be—ten feet tall, powerful, confident. Liked. I spent so much time pretending that things didn’t matter, pretending I didn’t care about being alone, but when we kissed, I no longer felt left out. And all those rules and cues that often seemed beyond me became so easy when he put his arms around me. (205)

I mean come on! How adorable is that fist situation? Maybe it’s just me, but it’s just one of those sigh moments.

Recommendation: Obviously, you should read this. I don’t think it has the emotional depth of her Out of Uniform series, I think this may be geared toward a younger audience. But it does include all of the highlights of Albert’s strength from great character driven plot, serious heat in the right moments, and a pure adorkable-ness that just puts a smile on your face. I’m already looking forward to the second book in the series.

Opening Line: “‘You can’t kill me,’ I said. ‘You don’t have the strength.'”

Closing Line: “My old mantra of one more turn had become an infinite number of turns, both mundane and earth-shattering, all adding up to a life I wouldn’t trade for anything.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from Conventionally Yours
“So yeah, I showed up at the meetings to work while kids like Conrad lounged around, picking up their next conquest as easily as shuffling a deck of freshly sleeved cards. And if I couldn’t even make small talk at those meetings, there wasn’t any hope for me at a gay nightclub, and I knew it.” (62)

“I had absolutely no business feeling disappointed that he’d so easily chosen Jasper over me. Did I want to sleep next to Conrad? Have him lecture me about no cuddling? Accidentally touch arms in the night? Was I seriously sad over missing out on that? As illogical as it was, the pressure in my chest said yes. Yes, I felt like I was missing out on something, and yes, I wished he’d chosen me, like this was dodgeball and I was the kid without a team all over again.” (75)

“Mom and Mimi had often despaired over what they termed my lack of empathy, but I preferred to think of it more as selective caring. It was true that I struggled to see things like school and game losses from others’ perspectives, but other things—like wanting to help Jasper with his sister or Conrad be more comfortable—came easier to me. I wasn’t exactly sure why, but unlike my moms, I didn’t need an explanation for every quirk of my brain.” (91)

“He fell into this strange undefined category—he wasn’t a total off-limits straight guy, not a firmly-in-the-friend-zone bro like Jasper, neither too old nor too young, but until recently he’d occupied the same slot where I put most people who annoyed me, and I wasn’t sure I wanted a few nice gestures moving him into some jiggly gray area where I started noticing the way his hair swooped forward or the way he bit his lip when he concentrated. I’d been aware of guys in that way as long as I could remember—at first seeing it as a curse of sorts, then later working hard to view it as simply how I was wired. But accepting that about myself didn’t mean I was going to embrace my body suddenly turning traitor and noticing Alden.” (98)

“Now, I didn’t really think Conrad would go off with this guy for a backroom tryst, leaving me holding the equipment, but if Blake touched Conrad’s arm one more time, I was going to throw something. Possibly Blake.” (109)

“‘Here, how about a compromise: selfie mode.’ I moved in closer to him, close enough to smell the hotel shampoo he’d used and for our arms to brush. But it wasn’t quite near enough to get us both in the frame, so at the last second, I tossed an arm around his shoulders, pulling him against my side. He made a startled squawk and the first picture captured his stunned expression. ‘Try not looking like I’ve just confessed to cannibalism.’ (121)

“And then, still holding my hand, he leaned in. This time I knew it was coming, and I didn’t flinch away. No phones rang. No loud people walked by. No one was having a meltdown, and the sun was shining, so there were no late-night excuses. Conrad was going to kiss me, and I was going to let him.” (182)

“Because both of us seemed reluctant to go in for the kill, the game dragged on far longer than it needed to. I didn’t want to stomp Conrad though. For the first time, maybe ever, I had something I liked more than Odyssey. Him. Us. The private moments we’d shared. And I’d take losing if it meant getting closer later.” (221)

“‘Okay. I’ll use it.’ I stretched so I could give him a fast kiss. ‘Thanks. Did you score anything worth keeping?’
His face went soft, more tender than I’d ever seen it. ‘Maybe,’ he whispered, and I knew from the gravity in his tone that he didn’t mean the cards, so I kissed him again, long and slow and sweet. I tried to use my mouth to tell him that he wasn’t the only one who felt that way. Maybe we’d both already won.” (234)

“‘Later,’ he all but growled at me, and okay, there went the last of my nobility, right out the big window at the opposite end of the room. The city lights were twinkling, sending enough light into the room for me to see the need and desire in his eyes. For whatever reason, he wanted this. Badly.” (252)

“‘Because I wanted to make you proud,’ I whispered, watching as his eyes went wide and some of the tension left his body. He didn’t say anything, so I continued, ‘I promised you I wouldn’t throw the match. I don’t know how to make you believe me, but I didn’t. And I had a plan. A strategy. If I won, I’d take care of you.'” (270)

“She was proud of me, but where had she been when I’d needed her most? Their love had been conditional, and that was no love at all.” (277)

“All thought ceased as everything peaked at once. Him. Me. Us. Emotions. Bodies. Futures. Pasts. Nothing made any sense, and yet there was a stark clarity that had never been there before. Pleasure shoved every doubt from my brain, pushed past logic and reason until there was only him.” (302)