SAY IT WITH ME NOW: “If I write a self-published novel I promise I will use a professional copy editor, use multiple beta-readers, and ctrl+f any asinine phrase that I may over use.”
Okay, now we can move on. I didn’t realize these were self-published when I purchased these (for $6) or I probably would not have purchased them. I was trying NOT to judge the books by their horrible covers and was drawn in by the blurbs.
As I was gearing up to read these I did a cursory Goodreads check and knew I was in for an experience and that’s part of what flagged for me these were self published.
I’m not as pissed as others were about Jase’s decisions because I’m pissed that Ellis would ever write a character that stupid in the first place. She provides a prequel short story that you do have to read for it to make sense, and prefaces ALL of her novels with a bullshit easy out of “I write real characters and don’t necessarily agree with their choices.” I can get behind characters doing what they want, but sloppy writing and half-arsed arcs are inexcusable.
For the amount of longing and pinning Jase did for Bryan for FIVE FUCKING YEARS and the fact that he packed up himself and his son and moved to another state to try and find Bryan in a needle in a haystack type situation, you’d think one of the things he would’ve looked into was parental rights. If Ellis would’ve set this story 10 years earlier she probably could’ve gotten away with the idiocy, but this is ostensibly a contemporary novel and that just puts her into trouble because of this. I mean hello, the internet is available at EVERYONE’S finger tips and Jase has the wherewithal to go speak to a lawyer when he decides he wants Bryan more than his homophobic parents, so it’s no wonder everyone was pissed at her as a writer.
But on top of all of that, what got me more than that was the asinine phrase I refer to in the opening sentence. I’m three books in and she’s used this phrase multiple times in every book. I’m not sure if she is a 1950s housewife or a christian woman getting off on MM Romance, or maybe it’s the “alternate teaching she does”, but no one in this century (let alone this decade) uses the phrase: “my XX favorite guys/gals.” Seriously though, I actually unhighlighted that portion of the closing line because it was so obnoxiously out of place and realized she used it again within the first two chapters of the next book.
Recommendation: Pass. The sex scenes are believable, but that’s about it. The characters are wooden, she had to write a prequel and add it to the book for it to even remotely make sense and then adding in the warning/caveat that her characters are real just sealed the deal that this was going to be a mediocre novel. Thankfully I think the others are shorter because I’ll finish them out, but I won’t read more from her.
Opening Line: “I walked through the terminal of the Austin airport, just taking my time before I headed to baggage claim.”
Closing Line: “Yes, of course I’ll marry you. You’re my two favorite guys after all.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)
Other Books in the Something About Him Series
Additional Quotes from Bryan & Jase*
“Sitting with Bryan and my son as we chatted about anything and nothing at all was a surreal experience. We could have just been two friends having breakfast, or we could have been committed partners with our child, but no one really paid us any attention. It made me wish so badly that I could rid myself of Sierra and stand up to my parents. But, I had to think of my son as well. It would be irresponsible to knowingly take a risk which could cut any and all family support out of my life.” (Loc. 892)
“We both knew it was a long shot, but it was fun to talk about. And it gave me something to look forward to each and every year, even though I was sorely disappointed to leave another Gen Con each year with no contact with Jase and Gray.” (Loc. 1,082)
“Fuck, I was so messed up over this guy. I wanted him, I wanted to be in his life, but could I really come out and be a gay man with a boyfriend and son? Was I doing the right thing dragging my son into what could become a messy situation? The father side of me was at war with the man side of me, could they come to a peaceful resolution? I needed to find Bryan before I could answer any of those questions.” (Loc. 1,374)
“God never makes mistakes, so I know he didn’t mess up when he made me. And God teaches us to love one another. He didn’t say love only the people you agree with, or love only those who live the way you think they should. He also didn’t say to love only the people who believe in God or have the same skin color.” (Loc. 2,332)
*These books came in a compendium on Kindle so the page/location numbers are different than if you purchase them individually.
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