A life of books . . .
“Not a day goes by that I don’t think of Richard and our love, and how much it meant to me to have that freedom to marry the person precious to me, even if others thought he was the ‘wrong kind of person’ for me to marry. I believe all Americans, no matter their race, no matter their sex, no matter their sexual orientation, should have that same freedom to marry.”
– 40th anniversary of Loving v. Virginia (Interracial Marriage)
“The room had never meant anything to her, of course, but in general the bedrooms of single men had a certain seedy danger even when kept orderly, and appointed with good eighteenth-century furniture.” – 43
“That’s the definition of being not haunted, by the way: being able to live in the moment without having either to lust for the future or to dread it.” – 221
“Every unmarried man of a certain age is presumed to be gay these days. Lots of married men too for that matter. I wouldn’t so much mind the presumption of it if a gay man would ask me out on a date, but since I don’t register on their meters as of particular merit I just blunder my way through parties, hunting for the nearest kid or grandparent or household pet to befriend.” – 222
“Poetry is all charms and promises. The impossible journey made possible. In poetry maybe you can get to the holy city and back again, even before it’s time to sleep. But it’s not really true. You can’t get anywhere but to the slow understanding of how, every day, you die, until there’s nothing left to die and you are dead.” – 315
“I’m flayed – no past now. I could give up anything…I want to live now. I can be anything I need to be and I want to be with you.”
“What about the economics and politics of appearance? Don’t entire industries flourish by manufacturing discontent over so-called problems (from thin hair to wide hips) whose solutions always are product based? Is it a coincidence that the more women and gay men advance socially, the more unattainable our standards of attractiveness become? At the same time, are we still so disempowered–personally and politically–that we cling to appearance because it offers at least the illusion fo control? Isn’t it true that the more emotional, physical, and economic resources we can be convinced to expend on our own bodies, the fewer we have left for the social body? Whose interests are served by keeping straight women and gay men in a perpetual state of anxiety?” – 119
“Standing there, I consider that for some time, I’ve been thinking of Doug and me as ‘model heterosexuals.’ But now I wonder how many could follow our lead. How many straight men could get used to being presumed gay? How many straight women could adjust to the sometimes disconcerting mix of conspicuousness and invisibility? How many straight couples would all but leave behind their old worlds’ and how many of those wouldn’t fit into this one because they don’t enjoy the club scene, because they lack disposable income, or because they have family commitments? What are the possibilities for border crossing? And what are the consequences?” – 156
– Between Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation
“When I was only three years old, Mama found me on the floor with a book pulled tightly against my face, sobbing hard. When she asked me why on earth I was crying, I told her, ‘Because I can’t get in the book.’ Now, I could not read at that age. What had happened, really, is that my mother had read so many books to me, so vividly, so beautifully, that I expected to be able to pick up the book and plunge instantly into beautiful depths of the imagination, and was disappointed I could not. In later years, of course, I found exactly that kind of satisfaction in books, and I owe all that to Mama.” – 355