Book 833: You’re My Home – Katie Moore

Looking back at the review request for this, I’m not sure what drew me to it. Maybe it was the best friends, the religious homophobia, the slow-burn or the hurt/comfort friends to lovers draw.* Whatever it was, I’m glad I said yes because even though I was emotionally exhausted by the end of the novel it was 100% worth the 460-page slog!

You’re My Home is the story of Zach, an underdeveloped young man who survives an abusive religious family, and Brady, the wealthy outgoing football jock with a heart of gold. They meet when they’re young and the story spans five or six years and you feel every one of those years on the page.

I knew this one was going to be a doozy when I read the dedication:

You’re My Home is dedicated to all the individuals that have struggled with their sexuality or had to stay in the closet to be safe. To the ones that have felt judged, afraid, or ashamed. To everyone who has been bullied or hurt because of who they are. This story is for all of you. (Dedication)

Even with this, I wasn’t prepared for how much of a doozy it was. The only works I can think to compare it to are the emotionally walloping books that Roan Parrish writes or the eerily gothic books Jim Grimsley writes. They all leave me emotionally wrung out but also somehow hopeful.

The story catalogues roughly five years of their lives from Zach and Brady’s meeting to their eventual getting engaged. It’s a long five years with a lot of ups and downs and you’d think over 460 pages the story would lag, but it never did. Right when the story felt like it might drag out a bit too much someone new or a new crisis (which were all pretty basic) occurred.

Everything is divided in my mind like a river running between the desert and a flowery meadow. Everything before Brady and everything after. Nothing matters before him and everything matters after him. He’s the river that brings life to me. He’s the butterflies and flowers, the sun and the warmth it shines down. (Chapter 13)

I read the first few chapters with my breath held because it was obvious where the story was going and when it did, it really did. The scene was visceral and it was tough to read, but on the other side of it you could definitely tell it wasn’t gratuitous and it served to bring Zach and Brady even closer.

A large part of the book made me uncomfortable, not because it was bad or poorly written, but because I felt so bad for Zach who fell in love with Brady at first sight and had to spend years waiting for Brady to get out of his head and figure out that he was also in love with Zach—and it was worth the wait even if I wanted to murder him for his idiotic scheme to help Zach with his firsts after their long time apart so he could go to the police academy.

‘I’m not the one that thinks everyone needs a label. Sexuality is a giant gray area. You can be whatever you are, and it’s nobody’s business but yours. I also recognize that labels can sometimes help you understand yourself better, and people want that. It’s obvious you really want to define your sexuality, but please remember that it’s a wide spectrum. What you may discover now could change later. Don’t beat yourself up because you haven’t figured everything out yet.’ He goes on, ‘But since it’s important to you, let’s figure it out best we can.’ (Chapter 58)

Where Moore excelled was with the minor characters. From Zach’s parents, who are written to be loathed, to Brady’s parents who are the real heroes of this novel not only for taking in Zach and helping him become the man he becomes but for also putting up with Brady’s idiocy and ignorance of his own desires, Moore really hit it out of the park. And then when you add in Connor, Brady’s best friend who OMG squeeeee I knew he was a little bit in love with Zach and the coming out scene with Brady was tear worthy, and Kelly, Zach’s first non-Brady connected friend who acts as his guide to the gay world, how could you not be impressed with Moore’s weaving of various stories together.

And Moore’s theme of found family was just beautiful. Not only from Brady’s family adopting all the strays, but Zach, Brady, Connor and Kelly forming their own family sub-unit just so much yes.

Family isn’t about blood. It’s about who shows up when you need them. It’s about who you laugh with and cry with and who loves you for you, not who they think you should be. Brady has given me a family and love. He’s selflessly shared his own with me and changed my life. I shudder to think of what my life would be right now if I’d never met him. (Chapter 55)

I cannot wait to see what Moore writes next. Hopefully, it’s a little bit shorter, but honestly, I’d still trek through it even if it’s not! Seriously though, when I finished I felt like I lived the lives of both characters in the time I read the book and it’s a wonderful feeling that doesn’t always happen with MM Romance.

Recommendation: Read this book. It is not a light read (quite a few things that could trigger people) and you will absolutely be emotionally wrung out and exhausted when you’re done, but it is 100% worth it. Just when I thought I couldn’t be any more wrung out, Moore consistently found a way to get a few more tears or a grin out of me. This is probably the first book hangover I’ve had this year—I spent 24 hours after finishing it just basking in the emotions.

*I received a copy of You’re My Home via Gay Romance Reviews in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.

Opening Line: “Christian music fills the house, and I hear my mom singing while she bakes cinnamon rolls for tomorrow morning.”

Closing Line: “Life isn’t always easy, but we navigate this journey together. A journey of love . . .” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)