This is book five of what will almost certainly be at least 12 Holiday MM Romances this year. What can I say? They’re better than watching the hetero Hallmark/Lifetime movies. Don’t get me wrong, I like those too, but I just want these this year.
This is the story of Elliott, an adorable charitable naive department store clerk, and Ash, the troublemaker son of the department store owner, and by far this is the one that is best set to be adapted into an actual Hallmark/Lifetime movie that I’ve read.
Ash is being punished by his dad (we find out later it’s a horrible PR strategy) for his various indiscretions and is forced to go undercover at one of the family’s department stores where he meets (and is immediately attracted to) Elliot. And of course, because this is a holiday romance, Elliot shows Ash that even when you’re struggling to get by you can be happy and still give all you can to make others experience the holidays in the best way possible.
To Elliott, a relationship and sex weren’t synonymous. A relationship was something delicate and shared—an understanding between two souls of mutual hopes and dreams. To bring sex into it too soon was to muddle the connection. Lust and love were similar, but easily enough crossed that he didn’t want to confuse them. Keeping things slow and simple when getting to know someone had always been important to him. (83)
Elliot was adorable. Starling wrote a character that really balanced a love of the magic of Christmas and had him just naive enough to fall for everything Ash said to distract him from figuring out the truth, but smart enough to know immediately when the jig was up.
Some of the severity slipped from his tone, and he forced himself to relax his shoulders. He may have been born an Ashby, but what he did with that and how he chose to treat the people in his life were still a matter of personal choice. (205)
I really liked the change Ash went through. It would’ve been different if it were only around Elliot and his friends at Ashby’s, but it wasn’t. When Ash realized how much of a dick he’d been his entire life he really started to change everything about himself and how he treated people.
The words felt natural. True. And Ash couldn’t have said whether loving Elliott had come on all at once and hit him hard—yes—or whether it had crept in slowly, rooting itself deep in his soul the more time they’d spent together—also yes. (237)
Starling also did a great job on the sex scenes and gooey romance. The heat slowly built throughout the novel and the tension leading into the big conflict was perfectly balanced. And even though I knew it was coming I teared up at the big romantic gesture toward the end of the primary plot when Ash bought all the presents plus more for the kids on the giving tree, and then in the epilogue when they called Elliot’s name I mean COME ON! SWOON! Even knowing it was coming I held my breath and clutched my pearls; it was just exactly what the book needed (both times)
Recommendation: Most definitely worth the read! Elliot and Ash were perfectly balanced for each other and my heart ached when the conflict happened and I was sooooo mad at Ash’s dad for what he did. It’s one of the better holiday romances I’ve read so far, and I’ll definitely check out some of Starling’s other work. I know she’s got at least one or two more connected to this one based on minor characters.
Opening Line: “‘It’s Monday, the 21st of November,’ Nick said, the jolly twinkle in his eye perfectly suited to the role he’d embodied each Christmas at the Chicago Ashby’s store since Elliott had been a child.”
Closing Line: “Elliott, all I could ever want . . . is you.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)
Additional Quotes from All I Want
“Even though he knew the man behind the Santa suit wasn’t some mystical being, Elliott believed. And sometimes, he knew, believing in something was enough to make it happen.” (12)
“It wasn’t like Elliott to lust after a guy, and it certainly wasn’t like him to be so drawn to a guy he knew nothing about. Even if Santa was his age, and even if he was attractive, there was no way he was gay. And even if he was gay, Elliott doubted that Santa would be attracted to him.” (28)
“‘If not me, then who?’ Elliott asked. ‘Just because it comes from real people instead of Santa Claus, it doesn’t mean it’s fake, Ben. The spirit of Christmas is about all of us.'” (64)
“And when those kids find out that Christmas isn’t really what they think it is, the ones who needed the Giving Tree the most are going to think back and they’re going to realize that maybe Santa isn’t real, but that there are kind strangers out there who bought presents for kids they’ll never meet. Kids they know nothing about. And that’s kind of magical in itself, isn’t it? That humanity isn’t all cold and sterile and cruel.” (65)
“What starts as a belief in Santa and the magic of the Christmas season turns into a love of people, and of humanity, even when faced with so much injustice and inequality. It’s that belief that there is good in people that I want to nurture. And I think that if we all did that—if we all helped kids believe just for this one day that the world is full of good and love—that there would be a whole lot less terribleness happening in the world.” (65)
“When Douglas Ashby had first found out that his son was gay, he’d come close to disowning him on the spot. It had been a strenuous battle to try to get his father to see him for the person he was, rather than the allegedly immoral portrait of the company that Douglas clearly imagined him to be, solely due to his sexuality, and, in retrospect, it honestly wasn’t one that Ash was sure had been worth fighting. Tension had been resolved once and for all after the first scandal hit the news when Ash was eighteen, but not because Douglas had come around in his personal opinions. Rather, once his father had seen how high that quarter’s sales had jumped as a result of the media attention from Ash’s actions, he’d ceased dragging Ash through the mud and started to treat “gay” as just one more PR asset.” (134)
“Ash laughed against Elliott’s lips, a sound he didn’t normally make during sex but that bubbled up within him in a spontaneous burst as the realization hit him. He loved him.” (171)
“In another box were the strings of Christmas lights, sockets empty, and to go with them was a smaller box filled with colored bulbs yet to be screwed in. The last thing left to uncover was the garlands, which were wrapped up around a stiff cardboard backing and stored in bags. It was a little rag-tag and chaotic, but to Elliott, the sight was the epitome of Christmas. The tiny trinkets in those boxes were tied to Elliott’s heartstrings, and seeing them always filled him with joy.” (181)
“How many talents went unrecognized, passions went unfulfilled, and goals remained impossible because of money?” (210)