Book 655: Upside Down – N.R. Walker

Sometimes you just have to eat your own words. I really don’t like reading self-published works. In general, they are not edited (structurally, thematically, copy) appropriately, but then I stumble across a self-published book, like this one, and I am pleasantly surprised.

Don’t get me wrong there were a few copy editing errors—I’m looking at you “Hans Solo”, ouch—but no more than what I’ve found in some big publisher books before (cough ** Mr. Dancy ** cough ** Signett Classics ** cough). And in general, I found this to be well paced and complete. Maybe this is because I found it versus the author reaching out to me? I honestly don’t know.

At its heart, Upside Down is about identity and layers of identity. What drew me to it was the fact that it was a MM romance with asexual protagonists. I’m not sure I’ve read a single book with an asexual character, let alone a MM romance with them as protagonists, so of course I was intrigued! Once you add in that Jordan is an awkward book nerd who works in a library, omg yes, and Hennessy seems just as adorkable as a book loving techie with an Avengers tattoo? Sold.

“The jury was still out on that. Actually, that wasn’t true; the jury had been in for some time, I’d just been resisting their verdict. I didn’t need another label. I had enough of them. I had enough hang-ups, quirks, traits, and societal boxes to tick and squeeze myself into.” (Loc. 89)

“I don’t want another label, you know? Because I have enough. I have more than enough. Too many, probably, you know for a geeky book-nerd gay man with so many levels of social awkwardness Freud would need an elevator, but the labels fit. And I hate that they fit.” (Loc 328)

I knew nothing about asexuality, aside from basic assumptions, and I felt that Walker did a great job of explaining about the asexuality spectrum using a support group run by Hennessey to do most of the explaining, but also Jordan’s journey of self acceptance to create the much needed conflict point in every romance novel.

Aside from Jordan and Hennessy, I felt the minor characters were believable and added to the story (especially Jordan’s friends Merry and Angus), and as much as I HATE public transportation these days (middle finger at you MBTA), I adored the Soup Crew—you’ll have to read it to find out. The “twist” at the end when everyone was meeting everyone wasn’t quite as shocking as I think it was meant to be. Don’t get me wrong, it felt like it was totally made-for-TV-movie magical convenience, buy meh.

Where Walker excelled was with Jordan’s awkwardness and stream of consciousness verbal-diarrhea when he was nervous. There were so many examples, but these two just really made me laugh,

“Well, I say fuck a lot even when I’m not nervous. I don’t have Tourette’s or anything, I just like the word fuck. The noun and adverb, even the adjective, not the verb obviously because I’m asexual. Apparently. So there is definitely no actioning of the word.” (Loc. 347)

“Any attempt at me being flirty has either ended in mortification for everyone involved, including innocent bystanders, or the guy asking if I’m feeling okay or if I’m allowed out unsupervised. It’s not good. It’s horrendous, actually. And as for sexy? All I want really big and rock-hard on a guy is his IQ, and what I consider to be hardcore porn is a picture of a guy reading a book with a hard cover. Soft-core porn is a paperback, and browsing Amazon is my version of PornHub, okay?” (Loc. 1,198)

And then of course the shout out to all dresses with pockets. I could picture so many of my friends who have done the EXACT SAME thing and rocked on their feet when they said it. It was just perfect.

“‘Love the dress.’ It was purple, and her yellow cardigan and orange shoes somehow kind of all worked. ‘Thanks!’ She said, shoving her hands into the pockets. ‘It has pockets!'” (Loc. 3,017)

I also really want to read Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes now. There were so many literary references (obviously – book nerds coming together for love), but this one intrigued me as I’ve never heard of it and the brief description I read sounds interesting. Maybe I’ll start with the short story and if I like it I’ll move on to the novel.

Opening Line: “I read the line again, and another time for good measure, then I mumbled it to myself out loud.”

Closing Line: “Together, as I imagined we always would be, into the rest of our lives.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Recommendation: Overall, this is well worth the read. This was a surprisingly light and refreshing read, even if Walker does get a major Star Wars character’s name wrong. I stumbled across it and got it because I needed a filler book and yet thoroughly enjoyed it. You can read it in a weekend (I did), and for once I didn’t hate the epilogue (I might’ve teared up).

Additional Quotes from Upside Down
“Sex doesn’t equal love. Sexual physicality is not the finish line; being sexually intimate with someone is not the only expression of our emotions. Except society thinks it is. Society and, by association, social media tells us sexual intimacy equals love. And the crux of this representation is that sexuality is normalised, mainstream. Which means asexuality is the opposite of that. Stigmatised, and anyone who doesn’t want sex, doesn’t like it, isn’t attracted to it, or is even repulsed by it, is labelled as not normal.” (Loc. 280)

“That you found another book-loving asexual gay man under sixty living in Sydney?” (Loc. 516)

“‘It’s subjective, though. Art and books,’ I added. ‘I’m no expert in art, but I know books, and there is such a misconception about what genre people prefer. I don’t give a fuck what people read, as long as they read. From manga to gardening books, it doesn’t matter, and why people scoff at romance, I’ll never know. Because isn’t it a beautiful thing? Romance, that is. People wanting a happy ending. How is that ever wrong? But that being said, I’d like to think I know a lot about a person by what they read. Knowing what people choose to read or study or what books they enjoy in private is akin to seeing someone’s browser history, their true selves. Autobiographies, murder mystery, self-help, romance … And then you have sub-genres within those genres, which adds another layer of awareness. Some people like any and all crime and thriller, yet some will only read true crime or fictional crime where the protagonist is a forty-year-old woman with mummy issues.’ I took a sip of my coffee. ‘It can say a lot about a person.'” (Loc. 1,727)

“Though I will admit, he said if I found out today you weren’t into the same things as me, that we would spend all day tomorrow watching Pride and Prejudice, eating pizza, and drinking beer. And I’m not gonna lie, that sounded pretty damn good.” (1,863)

“In the ace community, we are neither entirely with or without sexual desire, with or without engagement in sexual activity, with or without sexual drive. The stereotype of asexuals being wholly non-sexual or without any hint of attraction towards others is not who we are. Being asexual is varied and diverse, as is the complex relationship between sexuality and attraction.” (Loc. 2,796)