Book 969: The Art of Communicating – Thích Nhất Hạnh

I had to read this for a course I’m talking about the art of brave communication. We only had to read the first couple of chapters, but I found it to be an approachable and relatively easy read so kept going.

Where Hanh excelled was in his simple writing. For the most part, there were no overwrought metaphors or awkward analogies. There was one at the end that I’ll get to, but I think it’s a religious thing and it just fell flat for me.

The biggest takeaway by far is to take a few breaths and concentrate on your breathing before doing or saying anything. It will allow you a few moments to reset and become one with yourself and not say or do anything rash or offensive. I generally find the use of mantras to be annoying and redundant, but Hanh’s made sense and weren’t too over the top. I’m not sure I’ll be printing them out to live by, but I’m sure I’ll think about a version of them whenever I’m aware I need to.

I liked that Hanh applied his philosophy to all walks of life from intimate relationships to work relationships to politics. He really highlighted that communication is the same thing across all aspects of your life and what you do in one affects the others. There were a few things I thought about that will probably stay with me for a while and we’ll see if I revisit this in the future.

The one example that got me was at the end of the work about watering the flowers. It was a partial metaphor and partial actual use of a bouquet/vase of flowers. It just seemed too much and a bit odd. It’s not any different (to me at least) to passing a speaking stick but with more intention of focusing on the flowers and breathing in their fragrance and helping that ground you. All I could think about is how most flowers make me sneeze and that it’d be REALLY awkward to stand in front of a group holding flowers to talk (but maybe I just need to practice more).

Recommendation: It’s no wonder so many people recognize Thich Nhat Hanh’s name and the plethora of quotes attributed to him, this book was infinitely quotable. I highlighted so many that when it came to drop them into this post I chose one per chapter. There were practical as well as spiritual takeaways from this work that I’m sure I’ll revisit again and again. It also reminded me that I really should try to practice meditation more often. So much of that is focusing on the breath, similar to what Hanh focuses on throughout this book.

Opening Line: “We tend to think of nourishment only as what we take in through our mouths, but what we consume with our eyes, our ears, our noses, our tongues, and our bodies is also food.”

Closing Line: “Your hugging will be deeper, and so will your happiness.” (Not whited out as this is a work of nonfiction.)

Additional Quotes from The Art of Communicating
“Mindfulness requires letting go of judgment, returning to an awareness of the breath and the body, and bringing your full attention to what is in you and around you.” (5)

“We believe too much in the technologies of communication. Behind all these instruments we have the mind, the most fundamental instrument for communication. If our minds are blocked, there is no device that will make up for our inability to communicate with ourselves or others.” (14)

“To stop and communicate with yourself is a revolutionary act. You sit down and stop that state of being lost, of not being yourself. You begin by just stopping whatever you’re doing, sitting down, and connecting with yourself. This is called mindful awareness. Mindfulness is full awareness of the present moment.” (15)

“We can use words that will nourish ourselves and nourish another person. What you say, what you write, should convey only compassion and understanding. Your words can inspire confidence and openness in another person. Generosity can be practiced wonderfully with loving speech.” (51)

“The Six Mantras are six sentences that embody loving speech and let people know that you see them, you understand them, and you care for them. In Buddhism we call these sentences “mantras.” They’re a kind of magic formula. When you pronounce them, you can bring about a miracle, because happiness becomes available right away.” (72)

“There’s no place where deep listening and loving speech are inappropriate. We don’t need to save these techniques for a special occasion. They can be adapted to any situation and be helpful. If we use them now, we will have the understanding and insight we need to repair the damage we caused in the past and bring healing to ourselves, our families, our relationships, and our communities.” (114)