Book 851: One to Watch – Kate Stayman-London

Blazed through this wonderful debut novel after stumbling across it on a list of great beach reads. It took quite a while to get it from the library, but it was 100% worth the wait. I can easily see this being turned into a film or made-for-TV-movie, but it’s better than some of the young adult gay one’s I’ve read recently.

Bea is a plus sized fashion blogger who writes a scathing take down of a reality TV show that’s suspiciously similar to The Bachelor, and the next thing she knows she’s been convinced to be the next Main Squeeze on the show and of course chaos, hilarity, and romance ensues.

The premise of the book is not only about the TV show take down, but about Bea’s reaction to a one-night-stand with a friend she has pined over for years.

Bea knew that pining after him was fruitless. One drunken, sloppy kiss five years ago; one perfect, awful night six months ago. He wasn’t the love of her life—he wasn’t even returning her texts. So why the hell couldn’t she move on? (39)

She thinks that by going on the show not only will she be able to make progress on her own war against the world, which she shouldn’t be having to wage, but that she’ll also be able to get over Ray and her feelings for him.

Ultimately, she does get over Ray after A LOT OF DRAMA, most of which felt unnecessary, but fit in perfectly with the Reality TV aspect of the book. Seriously, when Ray appeared again I wanted to throw my Kindle across the room because the timing was horrible and messed everything up with Bea and the one she really was meant to be with.

To have been that hurt, to feel that afraid, and to know that the only way you can be really, fully happy is to risk going through it all again? It’s a terrifying choice to make. But if you want to let someone be that close to you, it’s the only way. (197)

Bea’s growth as a character really drove the book. Stayman-London wrote her as this bad ass woman who is taking names and kicking ass but faces a set-back because of her dick friend. We experience Bea being torn down to her base existence, some from her own doing and a lot from the production people of the show only to see her, only to build herself back up better and more confident/knowing than before. Seriously, her decision at the end was perfect and I 100% whooped out loud because it was the only thing she could do.

Where this book really excels was in representation. Sure you have Bea breaking down barriers in the Reality TV and fashion industry, but then you have her lesbian best friend, Marin who was the perfect comic relief and there are of course the “diverse” men she brings to the show with her from Asher (half-Asian, maybe Jewish?! and a single dad) and Sam (Black, younger than her) to the wonderfully adorable/I just wanted to to give him a giant hug Wyatt who is one of the first asexual characters I’ve read in a non-MM Romance novel.

Farm-fresh favorite Wyatt Ames isn’t just raising barns these days—he’s also raising awareness! Wyatt is working to promote outreach and acceptance for the asexual and aromantic communities, and he says he’s never been happier. (CLICK THROUGH to see photos of Wyatt and Bea on the red carpet at the GLAAD Media Awards!) (414)

And I could never forget Linus, Asher’s gender non-conforming son.

Linus is gender nonconforming. He still uses he/him pronouns, and I don’t know how he’ll come to identify—for now, I’m following his lead. He loves to wear dresses, tutus, glitter, all of it. He’s a human ray of sunshine. But the kids at his school . . . (241)

Seriously, my heart almost burst when Bea met Linus and complimented his tutu and his response was “it’s blue for boy,” like how many times can one squee in a page, it was just so much adorableness.

And when you add in that Bea DOES get her happily ever after, ultimately from the show, but not on the show, and it’s a direct result of Linus and his sister Gwen’s input it’s just so adorable and heartwarming and that proposal at the end is incredibly understated but just as swoon-worthy and perfect as Bea deserves.

Recommendation: This was a fantastic read. I thoroughly enjoyed the diversity of representation across the characters. It didn’t feel forced or overworked and as much as I hurt watching Bea get her heart broken and have her confidence torn down over and over again, it was really worth the journey to get to those last few pages when Bea takes charge of her own life and future and just says I’m me and someone will love me for me and then it happens. So yeah, definite yes from me.

Opening Line: “The flea market at Clignancourt was at the far northern edge of the city, a few blocks past the final stop on the number 4 Métro, where the Parisian architecture grew more simple, more mundane—a reminder that not all of the city was steeped in centuries of history and romance.”

Closing Line: “I was thinking more like a ring.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from One to Watch
“‘The way you dress, the way you hang your head? I think perhaps you are hiding,’ she said quietly. ‘But in this cape?’
Bea looked up to meet her eye. ‘In this cape, what?’
Jeanne’s lips curled at the corners, the barest hint of a grin. ‘You will be someone who everyone must see.'” (3)

“Going on a first date can be scary for anyone, but I find that for me, natural insecurities can spiral into an echo chamber of all the horrible things society has ever implied (or outright declared!) about my fatness.” (28)

“Listen, was I born gay, or did Julia Stiles in 10 Things I Hate About You make me gay? It’s literally impossible to know.” (30)

“They rode the elevator up, and Bea guided them through a maze of galleries to one you’d hardly know existed unless you were looking for it—or got lucky. Tucked in a corner past rooms full of modernist masterpieces was the museum’s sole impressionist gallery: precious Cézannes, scant Renoirs, and even a few Monets. Bea walked over to her favorite painting in the room, the bridge at Giverny at sunrise, Asher following in her wake.” (152)

“‘I’ve spent a lot of time falling for people who weren’t really available,’ she said carefully. ‘Which means, sad as it sounds, that a lot of my romantic life has taken place in my own imagination. Picturing what it would be like if we were together, extrapolating meaning from subtext, from things left unspoken. But then you go and tell me that you love me, and . . .’
‘And what?’
‘It’s like, all of a sudden, I’m confronted with what I’ve been missing. Like, do other people actually live this way? They just fall in love, and they tell each other, and they never have to be ashamed, or embarrassed, or certain the other person doesn’t feel the same? And then—if you’re in love with me, and if I could really fall in love with you, does that mean I have to learn how to need you? To depend on you? What happens when you disappear on me like everyone else always has?'” (309)

“The tide of his arms was pulling her in, always wanting more. Everyone wanted so many things from her—to believe in herself and see her own true beauty, but not to be conceited, to know her place. Be more than your looks, but never speak out of turn. Don’t be defined by love, but remember, you’re nothing without it. Be a princess. Find your prince. You don’t need a man to complete you. Stand on your own two feet.” (329)

“But I was wrong—I don’t need a man to look past my size. I need someone who’ll see me and love me exactly as I am. For all its flaws, this show made me believe that that’s possible.” (400)