We have to start with the fact that I did not realize the characters’ names were Santa’s reindeer until I was almost done with the novel. Their names are RUDY and DASHER, I mean WTF was I doing for most of the novel. To be fair I read this novel overnight one night, but still when it clicked I was like “OMFG HOW DID I MISS THAT?!”
On Dancer is a grumpy/sunshine romance featuring Rudy, a fresh out of college organizing pro helping his mom run the nonprofit dance company/studio as she has to step back due to health reasons and Alexander Dasher, a principal ballet dancer nearing the end of his career who has come back to his home town to recuperate from surgery.
As a result of forgetting that Albert does MM holiday romances, I got to read this and Deck the Palms back-to-back. And like Deck the Palms, this is another low-angst low stakes romance where the only thing holding the characters back is themselves.
In addition to the grumpy/sunshine romance, this has an age gap component, which isn’t actually that big, but somehow comes across a little bit creepy until after they’re into the relationship. Rudy has had a crush on Alexander since he was a young teen when he first met him. Albert did a good job of making it less creepy by not having Rudy obsess over it (internally or otherwise) and instead had Rudy build a new relationship with Alexander that wasn’t just adoration or idolization, but one of equality and two mature adults coming together without any sort of power dynamic, even if Alexander tried to avoid it for as long as possible out of some sense of nobility. Alexander’s biggest hesitation was Rudy’s virginity, and that led to one of the most hilarious lines of the novel and a Jane Austen reference:
‘Yes, but I’m experienced enough to know better than to mess around with a virgin,’ I shot back, voice harsh, but aimed at myself, not Rudy.
‘This isn’t an Austen novel. You’re not trifling with my innocent feelings.’ Rudy rolled his eyes at me.
‘I have zero expectations of a repeat, let alone anything more, even if we were to kiss again.’ (Loc. 1,358)
My favorite scenes were the quiet scenes with Alexander and Rudy playing Odyssey, the card game inspired by Magic the Gathering. It pulled Alexander out of his head and rather than highlighting Rudy’s childish enthusiasm (which you should never lose), but his intelligence and maturity through the actual game play and the people he introduced Alexander to. It also didn’t help that there was a love interest flirting with Rudy that added jealousy to the story pushing Alexander to reassess whether he wanted to pursue Rudy.
‘You’re cute jealous,’ Rudy said quietly as we headed out into the cold and blustery night. ‘Bloodthirsty. But cute.’ (Loc. 2,324)
I wasn’t sure how the story would end, but in true nonprofit fashion it was patched together with duck tape, a lot of flexibility and luck. The last few scenes were so good between the rich donor, the bi-coastal living for a bit and the reveals in the final chapter and the bonus chapter. I actually went and sought out the bonus chapter as I was hoping for something different, but what was in there was actually better than what I wanted.
Recommendation: Loved it, 100% recommend. I preferred this one to last year’s holiday romance from Albert and I think it because it was the more traditional holiday themed with the Nutcracker and cold temperatures (“Oh, hey east coast cold!”). The story overall also flowed better and although there was probably roughly the same amount of angst, Rudy and Alexander for some reason fit better than Nolan and Merry. Or maybe, I’m just super biased and having a cute little nerd who plays a TCG and works for a nonprofit is just perfection for me.
Opening Line: “You need to get over your silly crush, I lectured myself even as I craned my neck, looking for the one and only Alexander Dasher, otherwise known as the source of my personal gay awakening and decade-long obsession.”
Closing Line: “If tonight was the pinnacle of my professional ballet life, Rudy was the pinnacle of the rest of my life, a high I could never seek to duplicate, and the only role I wanted to spend forever perfecting.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)
Additional Quotes from On Dancer
“He’d paired his older ski-style coat with an absurd knit hat that sparkled in the glow from the street lamp. In my admittedly limited opinion, yarn should be neither furry nor glittery, and somehow Rudy’s hat managed to be both.” (Loc. 919)
“He kissed me like I was the last whoopie pie on the buffet table, with a hungry ferocity that made me tremble in ways that had nothing to do with the chilly night.” (Loc. 1,027)
“‘Do you love him?’ She gave me the kindest of smiles, undoubtedly far kinder than I deserved.
‘More than anything.’ My voice was rough with emotion. ‘More than ballet.’
She, of all people, would understand the force of that declaration. Since the beginning, when she’d spied me outside her studio, following along with Isabella’s class, ballet had been my first true love. She’d nurtured that love, watched me grow into the dancer I was today, and knew all of my sacrifices and hard work. I loved the career I’d built, yet it all felt hollow without Rudy in my life.” (Loc. 3,146)
“‘You want to know a secret?’
‘Of course,’ I whispered back.
‘That’s my ex-husband with wife number four.’ She gave a subtle point a few rows up to an older couple with a horse-faced gentleman and a heavily made-up woman.
‘They’re well-known donors here. I’m so going to enjoy the renewed success of Ballet Philadelphia. The petty keeps me young.'” (Loc. 3,240)