“What about the economics and politics of appearance? Don’t entire industries flourish by manufacturing discontent over so-called problems (from thin hair to wide hips) whose solutions always are product based? Is it a coincidence that the more women and gay men advance socially, the more unattainable our standards of attractiveness become? At the same time, are we still so disempowered–personally and politically–that we cling to appearance because it offers at least the illusion fo control? Isn’t it true that the more emotional, physical, and economic resources we can be convinced to expend on our own bodies, the fewer we have left for the social body? Whose interests are served by keeping straight women and gay men in a perpetual state of anxiety?” – 119
“Standing there, I consider that for some time, I’ve been thinking of Doug and me as ‘model heterosexuals.’ But now I wonder how many could follow our lead. How many straight men could get used to being presumed gay? How many straight women could adjust to the sometimes disconcerting mix of conspicuousness and invisibility? How many straight couples would all but leave behind their old worlds’ and how many of those wouldn’t fit into this one because they don’t enjoy the club scene, because they lack disposable income, or because they have family commitments? What are the possibilities for border crossing? And what are the consequences?” – 156
– Between Gay and Straight: Understanding Friendship Across Sexual Orientation