Books

Book 870: Before We Disappear – Shaun David Hutchinson

Book cover of "Before We Disappear" with Amazon Affiliate linkFull disclosure, I only requested this one because of how adorable Wil is on the cover with that book.* I have no idea why, I was just like awwwww and then I read the premise and was sucked in and so glad I requested a copy!

Jack and Wil are magicians’ assistants and they meet at the Seattle World’s Fair in 1909. They’re both in abusive relationships with their magicians and when they find each other they slowly discover that there is so much more in the world than they ever thought and ultimately, they want to experience it together.

Jack was a wonderful character, he’s charismatic and outgoing and even though his magician (Evangeline, the Enchantress) is emotionally abusive to him she’s treated him a hell of a lot better than Wil. Wil is in a physically and emotionally abusive relationship with, Laszlo/Teddy, the man who kidnapped him when he was four.

‘You are a good person, Jack Nevin.’
‘I’ll steal your heart,’ he said.
‘you cannot steal a gift freely given.’
Jack reached for me, and the time lost meaning. There are worlds other than Earth, other than the between, to explore, and we found them on the stage of the Beacon in the dark that night.

I mean SWOON RIGHT?! Where they really differ is Wil has REAL magic. He is able to transport himself and others or other objects distances via what he calls “the between”. Now, I personally think Jack may also have some sort of real magic because of the way Wil describes him when he sees him in the between, but maybe that’s just how he sees his soulmate?

The book started off a little slow, but as soon as Jack and Wil meet the book gets so much better and faster. It’s also around the time we meet Ruth and Jessamy, Jack and Wil’s partners in crime who are also adorable and should get their own book. There were so many wonderfully beautiful passages between Wil and Jack and I highlighted at the end, but seriously the book is worth reading. Hutchinson did a really good job of writing the franticness and helplessness of falling in love and having to fight for everything you want.

I knew I’d love Wil based on the cover, but I really adored his naivete and his love of books, the only thing Laszlo allowed him. It didn’t hurt that he clearly loved Jane Austen and he read to try and understand the world around him and it never quite worked out the way he wanted, but he managed to exist and live and with Jack’s help thrive!

We’d also spent a large portion of our time together talking about whatever crossed our minds. Wil could discuss Jane Austen’s fiction as easily as Fredrich Nietzsche’s philosophy. HE only had to read a book once to absorb and understand it, and he could defend his beliefs with a razor-sharp wit. At the same time, he was almost excruciatingly naïve.

These are some of the books mentioned throughout. There may have been more or this may have been all of them, but these are the ones I highlighted.

The thing I enjoyed most about the book was Hutchinson’s decision to make LGBT individuals and love and racial minorities have roles in his book and society. It wasn’t perfect for them, the racism was there and real, but it felt authentic the way he wrote it. He also included this in the author’s note:

The only people who lived lives free of discrimination in 1909 were cisgender heterosexual white men, and none of my protagonists fit into that category. (Author’s Note)

And similar to another book I read recently (Obie Is Man Enough) I felt that it would’ve been stronger if it were included as in the fore materials, but that didn’t detract from it and really suspending disbelief enough to believe that Wil can travel the way he does makes that just as easy.

Recommendation: This was well worth the read. It starts off slow, but when it gets going it really gets going. I adored Wil and Jack and how much they both grew throughout the story and I have all my fingers and toes crossed Ruth and Jessamy will get their story. It’s a mid-level angst book and fades to curtains when anything scandalous might happen 😀 The final chapter of the book was adorable and made me laugh out loud and then swear because I wanted to keep going on the journey with Wil and Jack. I’ll have to check out Hutchinson’s other book at some point.

*I received a copy of Before We Disappear from the publisher via NetGalley in return for my honest opinion. No goods or money were exchanged.

Opening Line: “The Enchantress stood under the proscenium arch—holding her willowy arms aloft as if the were preparing to conduct an orchestra, wearing a gauzy mauve gown that moved like morning fog—and dared the audience not to love her.”

Closing Line: “And then, in the silence between notes, in the emptiness between dreams, in the endless worlds between yesterday and tomorrow, we disappeared.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from Before We Disappear
“It felt Uniquely American, which was quite a feat seeing as we’d borrowed, annexed, or outright stolen every part of our culture from someone else.”

“‘You,’ she said. ‘I’m used to you falling fast for every pretty boy you meet. I’m also used to you giving up on them the moment things get complicated. This one’s different though, isn’t he?’
‘No,’ I said, more defensively than I meant to, which practically ensured Lucia would know I was lying. ‘I don’t know. He needs my help is all.’
I expected Lucia to laugh at me or make a joke. Instead, she nodded slowly and said, ‘Be careful, Jack. I’m not saying love’s a con, but we’ve used it to con an awful lot of people.’
‘Wilhelm’s not like that.’
‘I bet that’s what every man said about Evangeline right before she took them for everything.'”

“‘Have you ever been in love, Jack?’
‘Nah.’
‘Neither have I,’ I said. ‘I’ve read bout it. Jane Austen seems to have some peculiar ideas about it, but I think I’d like to be in love.’ Even stories that spurned love made me think it might be worth the effort.’
Jack grunted. ‘Not me.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because love requires trust, and it forces people to see each other for who they really are.’
‘And you’re afraid when you discover who the person you’re with truly is that you won’t love them anymore?’
‘Not exactly.’ Jack cleared his throat.'”

“The feelings I was developing for Wilhelm confused me. Being with Thierry had been easy. I’d known what he wanted from me and what I’d wanted from him. Nothing was simple with Wilhelm, and I didn’t know what his intentions were. I’d never met anyone who had thrown me so off-balance and made me like it. When I wasn’t with Wil, I wanted to be, and when we were together, I was scared by how happy he made me. I felt like I was losing control. Like I was a sailor about to blissfully crash into the rocks with the sound of a siren song stuck in my ears. And the worst part was that I wasn’t sure if he shard my feelings.”

“Reading about dancing was nothing like actual dancing. Dancing in books always seemed to me a graceful, dignified affair, but Ruth danced like a train taking a turn too fast, on the verge of leaping off the track. The music pulled my arms and legs like puppet strings, and I was glad to let them. The feeling was dizzying. Ruth and I were the center of the earth, and the rest of creation was revolving around us.”

“The truth is that I don’t know where my place is, and I would never want you to stay with me if we were traveling in different directions, but I was hoping that once you’re free, you might want to travel with me while I figure out where I’m supposed to go. And maybe, if the stars align, where we’re going will be the same place.”

“I think it must’ve been a person who’d wished for love but had never known it who’d created the first clock. Because time is a reminder of how quickly the present passes and how little of the future remains, and no one in love would want to know that.”

“You have always been my butterfly, just as I am your phoenix, and together we will fly far from here.
You have my heart, Wilhelm Gessler. Keep it safe until we meet again.
Forever and always,
Jack”

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