Book 731 & 732: Date Me, Bryson Keller – Kevin van Whye

It’s so nice I read it twice—no, seriously. I finished it and then the next morning decided I wanted to read it again. That’s twice this year (excluding illustrated/graphic novels)! The other double read this year was Two for Trust and the real connection of the two is that they could both be easily turned into one of those wonderfully cheesy made-for-TV movies that whenever you see it you just leave it on and inevitably get drawn into it.

You could definitely see where van Whye got his inspiration for this #ownvoices story. He acknowledged he was inspired by She’s All That from the 90s, Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda by Becky Albertalli and To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before by Jenny Han. And this definitely deserves to be up there with these great coming of age stories.

van Whye puts his spin on things with this book. The premise is that Bryson is dared to date a different person each week. He can’t fall in love and he has to be asked out. If he loses he has to ride the bus to school for the rest of his senior year. Well things go smoothly until Kai has a very bad day and out of sheer frustration asks Bryson to date him for the week, shaking up the dare and coming out to someone for the first time all in one go.

I wait for him to turn gay into an accusation—an insult. I wait for him to stop seeing me as Kai and to see me just as gay. I wait for all this while reminding myself that being gay is never a choice. If it were, why would so many of us choose to be shunned and spoken about behind our backs? The answer is simple: it isn’t a choice. It’s all so unfair: because you’re so-called different, you need to stand up and say that you’re so-called different. What makes everyone else normal? Who gets to decide that? Whoever it is can suck it. (42)

Obviously, it could’ve ended horribly, but it didn’t. The sheer cuteness of Kai slowly opening up and becoming more confident over a period of seven days and Bryson being an open and accepting heterosexual who may be more hetero-flexible than he ever gave thought to filled this book with so many aww moments that’s why I read it twice.

My mom is White, and my dad is mixed race. When I was younger, I didn’t understand the stares that they got—the stares that I got—but now I do. People have an idea of what love should be, and my parents loving each other doesn’t fit into everyone’s perfect vision. Dad has always said that racists are sad people trying to make the rest of the world just as sad. Their hatred is something we should pity them for because it keeps them from living full lives. (11)

I really liked that van Whye wrote what he knew and made Kai mixed race and had his characters discuss this frankly. I also found that his balance of Kai acknowledging his race and how it affected his experience growing up was done really well. It was a little bit explained away when Bryson reacted to a story Kai shared, but it was also very realistic when it comes to teens accepting people for who they are. It would’ve been just as strong if they had a longer discussion about it, but with the fast pace and the short time frame of the novel it just worked. And then van Whye included someone to give Kai representation in the world:

The Graces are fronted by Ezra Grace. He’s openly gay and, more than that, he’s mixed race, just like me. To see someone who looks like me, who loves like me, living his life on his own terms has made this band special to me. They also make really great music. (51)

And that really hit home what so many people are trying to make happen today. By making sure that everyone has representation in media, in culture and not just white people with token characters, it provides Kai with someone to look up to, something to aspire to, a person to just say hey that could be me if I wanted. And we need more of that in this world. And then when you tack on the fact that he had Bryson question Kai’s assumption of compulsory heterosexuality this book is working on a lot of levels to challenge norms:

‘I think it’s what society has made me believe. Everyone says straight is the norm. Look at our school. The number of out kids can be counted on one hand. I’m pretty sure there are other closeted people like me and maybe even a few who haven’t figured out their sexuality yet.’ I chew at my lip. ‘Maybe assuming everyone around me is straight is a defense mechanism.’ (57)

It’s unfair how heterosexuals get to love, laugh, and live so freely, while we second-guess everything. Our actions are always cautious. (138)

Compulsory heterosexuality is part of the oppression of LGBTQ+ individuals and is what creates the entire construction of the closet and causes that second quote to be true. If you identify as heterosexual or are in a heterosexual appearing relationship when was the last time you had to think twice before holding your partners hand or giving them a kiss in public?

My favorite character by far was Kai’s little sister Yazz. She is sassy and smart as hell. The note she writes to her parents after Kai comes out is devastatingly perfect and both times I read it. And she accepts Kai even before he comes out, she’s just like “yeah, you’re my brother and I love you, why wouldn’t I.” So simple and so perfect. And then immediately after that she drops this truth bomb on Kai, both calling out the trope and the genre:

‘You know what trope I really hate is when the main character decides to give up on the person they love in the name of protecting them.’ She fixes me with a stare. ‘That’s what you’re doing right now. You’re trying to protect Bryson, but you don’t realize you’re hurting him instead.’ (308)

All I can do is just sit here and slow clap for her, like damn.

I’d be remiss not to mention yet another shout out to Walt Whitman:

‘I can hate the person but appreciate their work.’ She glares at me. ‘I contain multitudes.’ (16)

This is the third book I’ve read since We Contain Multitudes that has this same reference. The world is clearly conspiring to get me to read poetry, or at least his poetry.

And, finally, no romance no matter what sub-genre, would be remiss without the big over the top confessions of love and understandings of love and this one did not disappoint:

On this Friday night, we are just two boys kissing because we want to, because we like each other. And there is nothing at all wrong with that. Because love is love is love. (202)

It was real then. And it’s real now. I’m using my wish now. I wish you were here. I miss you. (309)

Be still, my heart. And just let me swoon already. And it didn’t even bother me that this entire book takes place in roughly 10 days. I’m thinking back to big events in my life and when you boil them down they really do happen that fast. Sure, there’s the lead up and the aftermath, but when you narrow in on the actual event itself big changes happen really fast. I guess I should take this into account more when I’m reading some of those romances where I’m like WTF it’s not even been six weeks!

Recommendation: 100% read this book! Clearly, I enjoyed it reading it twice back-to-back and have already told other fans of late-90s/early-00s teen rom-coms they need to read it too! I also felt that van Whye used this platform to not only entertain but to educate. There are so many instances where I was like “”Oh, hey Queer Theory 101!”, but in an approachable and teen friendly context. Someone needs to buy the film rights to this! I did a quick search and no one has yet, but clearly van Whye could adapt it having a background in script writing—this very much read like a script already.

Opening Line: “It all started as a dare.”

Closing Line: “Gay means happy, too, you know.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from Date Me, Bryson Keller
“It somehow seems fitting that I have these masks in my hands right now, seeing as how I just removed my own for the first time. My mask has been so tightly fastened on my face—it’s been that way ever since I first realized I liked boys.” (46)

“That’s the problem with liking straight boys. The story always ends the same.” (56)

“And every gay kid has heard the stories and watched the movies. We’ve been told we aren’t normal for so long, been punished and ridiculed, that hiding who we are is second nature to us. Sometimes hiding is the difference between life and death. It’s why the closet still exists. It keeps us hidden and, more important, it keeps us safe. Living your truth is important, but sometimes living the lie is what keeps you warm, fed, looked after…breathing. Which is something a lot of people looking in from the outside don’t get.” (67)

“‘What’s the hurry?’ Mom asks as she sips her coffee—black with no sugar. I often wonder who hurt her so much that she needs to torture herself by drinking such bitter sludge.” (84)

“‘Huh, you’re an onion, Bryson Keller.’
‘An onion?’
‘Layers. You have layers.’ I shake my head.’I learn something new about you every day.'” (124)

“‘Don’t ever say that again,’ he says. ‘You’re every bit as much the leading man as anyone else. Never forget that, and remember that I like you just the way you are.'” (179)

“I open my mouth to deliver my monologue—the one I’ve been carefully crafting for years—but end up blurting out, ‘I’m gay, Mom.’ This isn’t at all how I imagined it. I’m not ready now. But maybe coming out is one of those things you can never truly be ready for because you can never truly know how anyone is going to react.” (229)

“Anyone who thinks that homophobia doesn’t exist in this day and age has never been the gay boy standing in a boys’ locker room. I should say something. Defend myself. Make a quip or a joke or something. But I don’t. I can’t.” (276)

“This will be my new normal now that I’m out. There will always be someone like Isaac waiting in the wings to say or do something homophobic. It isn’t right and it isn’t fair. But it is life. I will be happy despite the hate and the homophobic assholes. And if I fall down and stumble, I know that I’ll have people to pick me up, to support me. My coming out might have been less than ideal, but even so, I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I will survive this.” (304)