Book 706: Throwing Hearts – N.R. Walker

I might be nearing the end of this MM romance craze. I have a few more in the backlog, but in general I’m thinking my brain might need something a bit meatier. (I don’t know if that pun is intended or not because there has been plenty of meat in these books. [eyebrows eyebrows])

I’m not sure if this is a result of Walker’s writing style, there’s a maturity missing that is refreshing in the right moment, but also a little frustrating in most other moments, or if it’s reading so many back-to-back. I’m up to 23 this year (not counting hete-romance or graphic novels) and the bulk of those have been in the last 6-10 weeks.

If I’m completely honest, the primary romance was a throw away for me. Sure, Merrick and Leo were cute and had some interesting conversations and steamy(ish) sex scenes, but the real winner for me in this novel was the secondary romance between Clyde, Leo’s elder-LGBT buddy, and Donny, Merrick’s uncle.

“I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d stalk Merrick out on social media to see if he was single or to see if he had any hidden nasties like racism or if he was part of some religious cult. You know, all part of the usual twenty-first-century dating-criteria checklist of hell no.” (Loc. 336)

Walker did a good job of highlighting the intricacies (and opportunities for faux pas) in the internet age and the scene above really got me because it provided the impetus for Merrick and Leo to start talking outside of the pottery class, but it led to this scene:

“‘Lucky me.’ His smile twisted thoughtfully, his dark eyes met mine, and I knew whatever he was about to say would be intense. ‘A hypothetical question. If you were to, say, come over to my place tonight and found that I only have bunk beds, would you prefer the top or the bottom?’ Oooh boy. His question made me feel warm all over, my belly tightened, my heart squeezed. Top or bottom? Did he really have to ask? I mean, it wasn’t polite to assume anything, but he gave off top-vibes. Maybe my outfit didn’t say “please dick me” as much as I thought. My nerves escaped me in a laugh. ‘One hundred per cent the bottom bunk. Never was a fan of being on the top bunk, so yeah, the bottom bunk. Very, very thoroughly.'” (Loc. 1,187)

You want to talk about awkward as hell? I’m not sure I’ve ever met two gay men who had this conversation in person. With all of the technology and ways to text and chat with each other without having to actually talk I was shocked this occurred in person and then with such a blatantly awkward metaphor I was cringing. Maybe Walker thought it was adding quaintness to it, maybe it was a not do Clyde’s experiences being gay in the 70s and 80s decades before chat rooms, hook up apps, and dating profiles existed, but whatever the reason, it seriously made me cringe.

There were a few moments that made my breath hitch, but not nearly enough.

“‘Thank you.’ ‘What for?’ ‘For . . .’ His smile faltered, but he held my gaze. ‘For coming into my life when you did. For being yourself. For wanting to spend time with me. For giving me those nervous butterflies that I was certain, up until three weeks ago, were utter bullshit. For making me smile, for making me laugh. For helping me see the real Uncle Donny, because if I hadn’t met you, I’m sure he’d still be lonely and hiding his true self.'” (Loc. 2,363)

The primary one, for me was the budding relationship between Clyde and Donny. From the moment Clyde spotted Donny that storyline had my attention more than the main storyline, which sucked because there was minimal interaction between the four characters.

“If a smile could be wabi-sabi, he had it. Beautifully imperfect.” (Loc. 138)

What saved the book for me, was the epilogue that ended up being Clyde and Donny’s wedding and not Leo and Merrick’s (even if a proposal happened during the dancing). It made a nice end to the story and honestly I wish Walker would’ve spent more time with Clyde and Donny during the ensuing two years, or at least had them going to the LGBT center for the first time as Donny and Clyde learned more about how things had changed since their heyday.

My Recommendation: There were a few awww moments, but not nearly enough to make up for the cringeworthy ones (not from writing, just awkward characters). That being said, it probably won’t stop me from reading more of Walker. Even though she’s self-published, her proofreaders and editors do about as well as some of the published ones I’ve been reading recently. If anything stops me moving forward it’ll be the immaturity of her characters/writing.

Opening Line: “I knocked on the front door, a little louder than I normally would have so he would hear. ‘Clyde? It’s me, Leo.'”

Closing Line: “I promise you, Leo. I’ll throw you all the hearts you want. From now till forever.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from Throwing Hearts
“‘You think you wrongly assumed that I’m gay?’ he asked. ‘Honey, I’m the gayest gay that ever gayed.'” (Loc. 258)

“You picked my clothes for me. The only people who have their outfits chosen for them are toddlers and dead people.” (Loc. 792)

“He put his hand on my arm, his smile warm. ‘A little bit of everything sounds pretty good to me. And no, no allergies. I’d prefer no coriander though.’ ‘Oh thank you, I can’t stand that stuff either.’ ‘It’s an abomination.’ He grinned. ‘But I’m good with everything else, pretty much.'” (Loc. 860)

“‘Probably blue. It’s more adaptable for more situations. I love splashes of pink, but wearing it head to toe every day of forever would be a bit overwhelming.’ ‘Agreed. Very Umbridge.’ Now it was me who laughed. ‘God, I didn’t even think of that. She was so evil.'” (Loc. 1,169)

“‘Leopold Curtis Secombe,’ she said sternly. ‘Don’t start that shit. Send him a quick text right now, thanking him for a great night.’ ‘My name is not Leopold, as you’re very well aware. And where the hell did the Curtis come from?’ ‘When I need to full name you something, any Leo will do. It’s not my fault your parents actually called you Leo Secombe with no middle name.'” (Loc. 1,449)

“Our gazes met and I couldn’t make myself look away. His blue eyes were like a tropical ocean: warm and inviting. I wanted to wade into the depths and drown in him. I swallowed hard.” (Loc. 1,618)

“‘You just hate those white high heels.’ ‘True. I told you that when you bought them.’ ‘No, you said they were a bold choice.’ ‘Which is gay for “honey, no.”‘ She sighed dramatically. ‘Well, you need to start speaking lesbian.'” (Loc. 2,201)