Book 665: Status Update (#gaymers #1) – Annabeth Albert

This is totally going to be one of those years (ahem, like most recently) where I cram in as many rom-com M/M romance novels as I possibly can. I had every intention of making a dent in my ARC pile and TBR shelves, but I needed a grin-inducing, wistfully gazing off into the distance misty eyed read. (100% blaming Schitt’s Creek here, but that’s a different story.)

And that’s exactly what I got out of it. Were there any earth shaking revelations or any literary grandiosity? No. This was a sappy, goofy, meet-cute filled oh-shit-there’s-drama-let’s-make-up story that was a quick and enjoyable read.

I really enjoy Albert’s writing style and have wanted to read more since blazing through her Portland Heat series last summer (1, 2, 3, 4, 5 and 6). To be honest I was going to break into her military series (Out of Uniform – have I mentioned I grew up in a military town :-D). Unfortunately for me, book one wasn’t available but this was and it was just as delightful as the others I’ve read by her.

In Status Update, you’ve got uber up-tight Noah, archaeology professor at a conservative christian college in Texas just trying to figure shit out, and then you’ve got Adrian, out and outgoing video game developer in California who knows what he wants in life. Add those two together in a 100% ridiculously-never-gonna-happen-in-real-life situation and you get a well written and thought out romance novel. This isn’t rocket science, if anything its plug and play happily ever after, but isn’t that all romance novels?

Where Albert stands out is her sense of humor, which for some reason just works for me. I mean let’s take Noah, he knows he’s gay but he’s repressed it for various reasons, but when Noah finds some X-rated sci-fi books Noah refers to his sexuality as “literary inclinations” and I nearly died from the sheer adorableness and awkwardness.

“‘Flirting, okay? No flirting.’ There. He’d said it. ‘We both know you wouldn’t have tried innuendo before you discovered my . . . literary inclinations.’ ‘Your literary inclinations? That might be the cutest thing I’ve ever heard.'” (Loc. 634)

“‘It’s not catching you know,’ Adrian said, his voice back to usual. ‘The gay, I mean. The cashier only made that assumption because of me. Not you. Your “literary inclinations” are safe.'” (Loc. 782)

“‘Hot guy, of literary inclinations, who may or may not have experience in relations.’ Adrian made a sweeping gesture with his hand.” (Loc. 1,064)

And then there’s the pacing. It’s like Albert could hear me saying tssk tssk when she was writing. The first part of the story where Noah and Adrian meet and things start to heat up and get steamy happens in less than a week and I’m like “WAIT ONE SECOND NOW! This is just insane.” And so she threw me a life rope by forcing them into (for this genre at least) a long waiting period of roughly a month before they see each other again and I’m like okay, maybe. Then she throws this line out there:

“However, the battle for Noah’s heart was going to be won a millimeter at a time. Because he’d discovered that Noah didn’t like fast things—he liked long-steeped tea, slow-cooked meals, handwritten research notes, and slow, earth-melting kisses.” (Loc. 2,163)

So I might not get my happily ever after, but I damn sure apparently am going to get my happy-for now ending. Works. For. Me. I will also add that her epilogue was timed perfectly roughly a year after the main story and even if it was a bit of a stretch realistically (for this old stodgy curmudgeon, at least), it just worked. So many authors ruin their books by adding an epilogue.

Recommendation: I spent most of this book with a big ass grin plastered on my face, so it’s a read from me. I enjoyed the dialogue, the setting and the struggle both Noah and Adrian faced for various reasons. I’ll definitely read the series, I’m going to say not back-to-back, but I’ve already broken that and started book two, Beta Test.

Opening Line: “Noah knew the dog was trouble as soon as he and Ulysses entered the campground’s off-leash dog area.”

Closing Line: “He didn’t have to have faith when he had solid, irrefutable proof that they were right and good together and that they could make a life, a home and a family together.” (Whited out to avoid spoilers, highlight to read.)

Additional Quotes from Status Update
“Each little incidental contact felt like the scrape of a shovel against an artifact, the thrill of discovery racing through his veins.” (Loc. 760)

“Adrian truly, absolutely was done with relationships. Especially long-distance relationships. And he’d never even touched a closeted guy, let alone one who’d locked his sexuality in a deep freeze labeled Literary Inclinations and Do Not Touch. But teasing was easy. And there was something absolutely addictive about riling up Noah.” (Loc. 838)

“Five minutes of kissing blew past all those assumptions. It was like going from playing an old Atari game to the all-encompassing realism of a game like Space Villager.” (Loc. 1,244)

“He took the stairs to the third floor slowly, allowing ample time for alien abduction or solar flare or any other deliverance from his errand.” (Loc. 3,431)